I blog, I love people reading it, but sometimes, I just want each and every little things that happen in my life to be recorded, and I will read them whenever I wish to.
Perhaps boyfriend will find out this blog one day. It's not that I don't want him to read all these things that I am gonna pour out, it's just that to avoid more arguements between us. I know the fact that I am too fragile, easy to be hurt, sensitive, thinking too much.. All these problems lie within me and I know I shouldn't make him feel stress or bothered about all of these.
Today, nothing much happen actually. I should feel free, no one bothers me and everything.
But I knew, I was feeling really dreadful. I do not know why? I hate it so much when I tend to be very down, and I do not know the reason. Obviously I will be treating people coldly, don't feel like talking and everything, even to my family. I hate my own attitude but I can't seemed to find any way to solve it.
As usual, a Saturday morning, we went to SS15 to have our brunch.
I know I was starting to act a little strangely. My brother was asking me to get one cream green tea from Cocos but I just don't feel like drinking or eating anything. Then we headed to Tropicana City Mall. Thanks to my "suggestion" , my brother brought us to watch Dark Flight! Gosh, he really spoils me a lot, but thank God I have him as my brother!
I had not watch any horror films ever since the last one that I've watched, Laddaland which was last year. The movie was really creepy, I could not even sleep that night. Worried much and I slept with the lights on! And yes... I managed to sleep only at 6am, when everyone wakes up. D:
We reached there earlier, so I walked around and went to Kitschen. Gosh, there are so many pretty, beautiful dresses and blouses. I managed to try some of it, however I did not buy because I THINK I should save my money. I managed to :P
Dark Flight 407
Dark Flight 407 is a horror film about a young air hostess, New who miraculously survived a plane crash 10 years ago, which was her first year of working. New can always feel that she's haunted by the spirits of the passengers and she is seemed to be blame that she had been the cause of the accident. She insists that a vengeful spirit caused that accident, but her belief unsettled those around her and she had to go through a psycho-therapy.
However, after so long, she was finally recovered from the trauma and decided to return as flight attendants. This time, she is the leader of the flight attendants. Before she was boarded on the flight, she felt something weird. But on her first flight, New is struck by a disturbing feeling. The plane on which she's working looks familiar, and she realized that it's actually the same aircraft that crashed 10 years ago, though it has been repaired and repainted. Gripped by terror, but there's nothing she can do because the plane has already taken off, along with the same vengeful spirits that reside in it. Up in the air, the spirits are back to determined and take her life this time.
I somehow love the starting part where the flight attendants do their safety demonstration as a dance to pumping techno music that puts most of the passengers in a good mood! It was really cool, and I somehow wish the airlines here do that :P
There's a teenage girl who is obsessed with her iPad's flight-stimulator game, oh yes, that's how convenient it is. And there's a member of the ground crew who is trapped in the baggage compartment when the plane takes off. It just so happens he has something to do with New. There is an instant chemistry between both of them.
The flight starts out fairly routine, until weird stuffs start to happen when a little kid rolls a ball down that wide aisle at the teenager. Passengers see other passengers who are not really there, bloody footsteps are left behind the stewardess and then disappeared.
Pretty soon it became obvious that the plane is haunted. The exterior of the craft looks like it's been through hell and the wiring and instruments appear as if they've been rotting in the jungle for several years. I shouldn't be spoiling the movie, you guys should watch it! It's not that bad, I would rate it 3 out of 5 perhaps. Do you guys wonder why this incident is happening again after ten years?
You'll get the answer if you watch it :)
We did some groceries shopping with mummy, then we headed to Kepong to have our steamboat buffet! It was nice, but I just do not have the mood to eat today. Screw my day perhaps?
I was not even talking. All I did was helped my brother with the cooking and barbecueing that's all..
Honestly, I admit that I feel really insecure sometimes. I do not know what will happen.
I keep on having nightmares, they are scary, especially when you know the person who would snatch your boyfriend away. Yes, perhaps I am feeling paranoid or whatevershit. But I do not know how long I could handle with all these feelings. Boyfriend would not be happy if he knows that I am feeling like this. He hates to see me like this, I know.
So I rather keep all these to myself, by blogging, I know I would feel a little better.
Sometimes, telling people your problem nothing could be solved too, because they are not in your shoes, they cant feel it, they do not know how much it hurts.
I believed I get pretty tense for my trust on him eversince the chocolate incident during Valentine's Day. I do not know why it has such a big impact on me. I felt really replaced at that very moment.
Stupid thoughts, thinking that he could not get her, but it was okay, as long as he could see her live happily? I am crapping, I am doubting my boyfriend, how stupid I am to think like this. I know I know, this would be things that everyone would tell me. Of course I know he loves me a lot.
I do not doubt his love for me. It just that sometimes I think I do not know what he's thinking.
She's pretty, slim, tall, gorgeous. I am nothing compared to her. Definitely guys would go for her instead of me isn't it? I used to be really confident in my relationships. Until the past two relationships that hurt me like hell. I could not believe my other half would be attracted to another person, especially when it's my best friend.
It was really hard to swallow everything into my stomach. I've gone through it, and I've suffered and I know how painful it feels. When I took the courage to be in a new relationship that pictured me happiness, yet the same thing happened again. It was really scary, I remembered I dont even dare to be in a relationship again. But eventually I met this loving guy, Bryan S. & I know I am loving him all I can, as long as I live. He's too good, that's why. Worried that somehow girls are attracted to his kindness. OKAY. I seriously dont know what's on my mind, but I hate to doubt his feelings.
Boyfriend, if one day you are reading this. I hope you understand. I hate to not know what you're thinking. I hate to doubt your feelings. I know you love me, as much as I love you.
But thoughts.. They are really killing me. I am sorry.
