480 Days.

Perhaps I could say it's the worst fight that has ever happened between us.
You fetched me over to your place today, and we were fine. Just when we were lying down on the bed after dinner, you told me there's something that you wanted to tell me long time ago but you do not know how to start it. I was acting so calm at first, I thought it would last, eventually it did not.
You told me that you are a permanent OO for the coming orientation. When I already knew you were one few months back, I was waiting for you to tell me. But yeah, you only told me today when you are going to have your OO meeting tomorrow. I was really pissed off due to a few reasons,
1) You said you knew I would be mad if you join so you wouldnt join.
2) You asked for my permission if you could join or not, I said no, but you got mad, and still join even if i said no.
3) You told me you would be a temporary OO which you do not need to be there for the whole two weeks from morning to night but you joined permanent OO.
4) You did not tell me about you confirmed joining until today, and it seemed like I am the last person to know about this.

It made me felt that you did not put me in your situation at all. I just want you to think for me sometimes. Since you really wanna join, I dont mind, as long as you are the temporary OO. You told me you dont have enough time to study. And this orientation is during your holidays. Are you sure you have enough time for everything? Next semester would not be easy for you already. I'm sure you need preparations and stuffs. Holidays do not come all the time, dont you need to rest? Sometimes I really see myself caring too much, maybe I should back off. All the time I told myself I should care lesser, then you would not feel suffocated. But I just couldn't. I just want to go into your life and I believe sometimes I would screw it. But I just want the best for you, and us.
I was really heartbroken, at the same time really unhappy yet devastated. Caring too much lead us to arguments, and causes tears and pain. While I was crying, I thought I was gonna faint. My mind was half conscious, all I felt inside was I wanna fall off from a cliff. I do not know what to do. The only thing that came to my mind was, if I walk out from your life, you wouldn't be controlled by me, you would lead a better yet happier life. The feeling of letting go is so hard, I want to hold back because I really loved you too much. I am trying my best to change my attitude. I am trying my best to give you happiness.
I am sorry if I could not make you happy.... But you're the best guy that I ever had in my life.
Thank you for not neglecting me, for taking all the shits that I have, and all those treatings that might hurt you almost all the time.